Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

Dating Hijinks: The Blind Double Date

With Two MIT Grad Students.

“They didn’t have a photo up and that wasn’t a red flag for you?”

“I just want to be in love,” she sobbed. As she continued to throw-up the seven or eight shots she had consumed, I headed to the bar and explained that she and I were going to go home.

“But you seem all right,” said Twain, “You should come home with me. I have new sheets.” As he said this, he put his hand on my thigh, far too close to my crotch, and flirtatiously looked over the rim of his Chester-the-Molester glasses. Could the two of them possibly be anymore stereotypical? Where the hell was Val Kilmer from Real Genius when you needed him?

“No thank you,” I said. I paid our tab and let the MIT kids take care of their tea bill. I carried Anne’s dead-weight drunken body home almost 15 blocks, as cabs in Boston just aren’t as prevalent as they are in NYC while she cried the whole way about love being a joke and being duped by John and his promises. I didn’t ask what promises she meant, but she did promise herself that night to always get a photo before indulging in any online dates again. Since then, she’s had better luck.

I should add, however, that my grandfather went to MIT and he was a pretty crazy, drunken, womanizer, so I’m well aware that John and Twain don’t represent every student there. But I do know that if someone is studying something I can’t even pronounce, I’ll pass. Those people aren’t usually lead singers in indie rock bands who have a habit of being drunk in a gutter somewhere in Brooklyn anyway. And like I said, those are the real “winners” for which I’m always on the look out.

Not all nerds are like Poindexter, some are really hot and cooler than most people. But you won’t know that until you check out TheGloss dating page.